Boooooring

This may be the most boring semester I've ever spent in college. In fact, its not "may be", it is. It seems like nobody is really doing anything. It's like we're here and we're going through the motions, but we're not really here at all. God, I could do this at home. I come to school to get away from it.
I'm just beginning to think this whole year is a complete let down. It had potential when it first started. Oh, it had such potential. Labor Day anyone? Then a series of events I wont get into took place. They weren't anyone's fault and there isn't anything we could have done to stop them. But they changed everything. After that there was a different atmosphere and approach to everything. There were a few bright moments when we had some fun, but the majority of the semester was spent trying to keep myself distracted and counting down the days until Christmas Break. When break finally got here, we were all just happy to go home and relax for a while. It seemed that if we could just get a few quiet weeks at home, then when we came back in January things would be different.
I know that when I got back to school for the start of the second semester I was convinced that it had to turn out better than the fall. I mean, we'd all had some time to relax, we had new classes and hopefully everyone would all have calmed down a bit. Unfortunately, I'm starting to think I had more fun in the fall. Matt and Liz both went abroad this semester. They're two of the main people we hang out with all the time (e.g. team shameless and team jersey). But if everyone else was still up for hanging out then the semester would have been fine. Molly never wants to go out. Not that I expect much from her because she's never really been one to come hang out or anything, but that's not the point. Chris has....... changed. For lack of a better word. I know what's causing it, but it doesn't mean I have any control over it. It's really sad because we had a great group of friends and we always had such a good time. That's why I wasn't worried about Matt and Liz going abroad. Because Chris would still be here and we've hung out practically every weekend since freshman year. Of course we'll still have a good time. But that isn't how things have panned out, which is frustrating.
I've taken to drinking by myself. That was always my self imposed limit because once you start drinking by yourself then you've got a problem but I think I've reached that point. If I only drank when everyone was hanging out then I'd be more sober this semester than fall of freshman year. Even then I was drinking with Chris and Mike regularly by early November. So, its drink alone or dont drink at all and I don't think I could handle being that sober.
There are times when I wish I could rewind back to sophomore year, or even the very beginning of this year. Maybe if I'd known that school was going to start to suck then I would have savored it more. Been more aware of how lucky we all were to live in this vaccum bubble where life was good and we all had each other to hang out with. Back when I used to look forward to the weekends. I don't think we really understood what we all had a year ago. We used to have a love of the game. Or maybe it was just a love of hanging out together. ::sigh:: You know what I miss? I miss the judges booth. You know what I'm talking about! Don't pretend you dont. To me, that judges booth represents the amazing time we had last year and the potential we still have to salvage this semester and our final two. I'm banking on our senior year being somewhat close to the time we spent in McDonald. As long as it ends up being better than junior year, which won't be hard, then I'll be happy.
Wow, I know I sound like this morbid, depressed person who is going to go jump off the roof of the trailer or something, but I'm not. The last thing I want is to start being like Suicide Nancy. I'm just bored out of my mind. Therefore, I feel sorry for myself for no real reason.

On a completely separate note that isn't all self-reflexive and depressing: two or three weekends ago, whenever it was that Nick tried to convince me to buy a gun, we were all sitting around talking and I said something about how I'm going to see Kenny Chesney this summer and how I love him. Nick turned to look at me and said (in all seriousness) "Kaitlyn, do you think his tractor's sexy?" "Absolutely," I responded, in an equally serious tone, without a moments hesitation. HAHA! Is he kidding? Anyway that thought just came into my mind because I'm listening to the song right now.

I'm gonna go drink now...